


Second Chance

by cre8iveovadose



Series: Second Chance [4]
Category: Glee
Genre: Gen, Relapsing, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-25 20:48:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3824560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cre8iveovadose/pseuds/cre8iveovadose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian is having a hard time in his senior year and when it gets too much, he finds himself in a bad situation. Needing help but not wanting friends or family to know, he calls Blaine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Second Chance

**Author's Note:**

> This is very different to the original version of this fic. To view the original, search for this fic on FF.net.
> 
> Warnings: Graphic description of self-harm and its aftermath, mentions of suicide and depression, swearing.

**SECOND CHANCE**

Senior year sucked. Everyone was sad that it was their last year at Dalton and were freaking out over college applications. The Warblers were itching to get started for the year and auditions for new members had gone by without a hitch. Drew and Michael were great additions to the group but no amount of music or sport or distraction could save Sebastian Smythe from the sinking feeling that hadn’t dissipated since the previous Regionals competition.

Reconciling with Blaine and the New Directions had been great and helping out Dave was cool too but Dave’s suicide attempt had sparked things in Sebastian he didn’t want to feel again. He had known his promiscuity and overconfidence was compensation for the insecurities of his past – enough psychologists had told him as much. He had spent the last six months trying to find new ways to prevent him lapsing into old ways.

Three weeks into the new school year, prevention seemed worse than a cure to the ache in his wrists and the hollowness in his chest.

Sebastian planned it. He knew his father was going to Columbus that weekend and his mother always went with him to visit her sister. Chelsea was at college in Pennsylvania now so Sebastian didn’t have to worry about her milling around. He would buy supplies on his way home from school and be free to engage in as much self-destructive activity as he pleased. It would be good.

The wait for Friday was torturous and Sebastian was the first out of the Dalton gates. He picked up a pack of X-acto blades and stopped into the pharmacist for bandages and disinfectant. The cashier gave him a strange look but he ignored it. He was used to ignoring it. He sped home, almost colliding with a car as he rounded the corner into his street. He tried to seem restrained as he walked up to the house but he bolted upstairs once inside.

A quick shower would pull his veins to the surface, as it always did, though he wasn’t sure that was exactly what happened. He’d failed biology in sophomore year and not bothered to pick it up again. The water was warm and soothing but he wasn’t going to change his mind and when he was dressed, it began.

The pain made him gasp and the cuts stung and burned viciously. Blood slipped over the pale skin of his arms, dripping from his elbow onto the tiles below. He couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t just leaning over the sink but when his fingers twitched and the cut was deeper than he had anticipated, he remembered why. Because when the bright red blood rushed from his arm, he lost control.

Sebastian was frantic. He couldn’t stop himself as he kept ripping through flesh, the blade slipping in the blood that was coming too fast to clear. The inside of his arm and wrist was a gory array of cuts but that just made him move to the skin above his elbow joint. He paused to admire the dark red scar that came and went before he let the blade bite down and watched as his life bloomed and fell.

He went at it for what felt like hours. When he would finally pass a clock, Sebastian would realise it _had_ been hours. When he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore, he wrapped his arm in the bandages he’d bought and stumbled to his room. He collapsed into the unmade bed and fell asleep.

When Sebastian woke, it was pitch black outside. He squinted at the alarm clock on his bedside table to see it was only ten thirty. He turned onto his back, yawning, as he tried to decide if he was hungry. Sebastian found himself distracted when he shifted and the mattress and sheets beneath him were wet. He reached out with his good arm and switched on his lamp, looking down to see the bed and his side covered in blood. The bandages were soaked through and as the panic began to rise, his head began to swim.

Before he could think, he turned to his other side and grappled for his phone before the pain registered and he faltered. He yelled in agony and his right arm gave way where it was propping him up. He fell from the bed, whimpering and crying when his arm was jolted on impact with the floor. His phone had dropped down beside him and he watched it through teary eyes before he reached for it.

Sebastian’s fingers shook and stumbled as he tried to find someone to call. He just needed help cleaning up; he didn’t need to go to the hospital. He just needed someone to help him redress his wounds and change his bed and then he’d be okay. Squinting through the now blood-smeared screen, he found the name he needed. They would not only help him but they would be sure never to tell anyone what had happened. He tapped the “call” button and held the phone to his ear as it rang.

One ring.

Two rings.

_Come on, pick up._

“Sebastian? Why are you calling? Just because Kurt’s gone to-”

“Blaine, I need help,” Sebastian whimpered, sniffling and hating himself for how weak and pathetic he sounded.

“Why? What’s happened? Are you okay?” Sebastian could hear the faint jingle of keys in the background.

“I’ve just fucked up, okay? Do you remember where my house is?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there in there in fifteen minutes. Can you hang on that long?”

“Y-Yeah.”

“Do you want me to stay on the phone?”

Sebastian paused, his mouth hanging agape before he nodded to himself. “Please.”

“Okay. Um, how’s school?”

“It’s fine, the Warblers are gearing up for Sectionals. What are the New Directions doing?”

“We’ve just regrouped, we don’t quite have enough members for Sectionals yet but I’m sure we’ll be there. What have you guys been singing?”

“Um…” His tongue felt heavy and dumb, his head pounding as he lay on the floor, staring at the ceiling.

“Come on, Sebastian, what songs?” He could hear the concern in Blaine’s voice. It was nice.

“We sang ‘S-Some Nights’ by fun. and ‘Pumped Up Kicks’  by Foster the People.”

“Cool, we haven’t done very much…”

Sebastian stopped listening to the words, only hearing the voice. Blaine was nice to listen to and as Sebastian curled up on his side, he felt himself begin to drift.

“SEBASTIAN!”

He jolted back to reality, fluttering his eyelids to try and wake up. “Sorry, sorry, drifted off.”

“You’ve gotta stay awake, okay? I’m just pulling up now. Can you get to the door?”

Sebastian looked to his bedroom door, took a deep breath. “I can try.”

“Okay, just be careful.”

Sebastian pulled himself up, bracing his arm against his bare stomach and swallowing the lump in his throat as hot blood seeped through the bandage. He shuffled into the hallway and to the stairs, Blaine still breathing into the phone. Going down the stairs took effort and concentration but Sebastian didn’t fall or trip and soon he was at the door. His bloody fingers slipped over the lock and handle before he opened the door, revealing his ghastly form to Blaine.

The other boy hung up his phone and watched Sebastian with wide, scared eyes as he took in the state of him. Blaine shoved his phone in his pocket and stepped inside, not taking his eyes off of Sebastian.

“Oh my god, what happened?!” he exclaimed before his eyes travelled down to the bandaged arm. His eyes widened again before he swore as Sebastian finally collapsed. Blaine reached out to catch the taller boy but Sebastian was a dead weight and Blaine dropped to his knees beside him.

“I fucked up, Blaine. I fucked up!” Sebastian cried, burying his face in Blaine’s sweater.

“We need to get you to the hospital, Sebastian-”

“No! I can’t go there! They’ll tell my parents! I can’t go through it again!”

“Seb’, I’ve seen what happens with stuff like this, you won’t last too long if you don’t get help – help I can’t give you.”

Sebastian’s chest heaved as he gulped in breath before he sniffed and nodded against Blaine’s stomach. “O-Okay… Okay.”

Blaine helped Sebastian to his feet and out to his car. He pulled a spare cardigan from the back seat and wrapped it tightly around Sebastian’s arm.

“Keep the pressure, okay? It’s gonna hurt but it’ll help.”

Soon, Blaine was speeding towards the hospital. Sebastian didn’t care which one it was so long as this ordeal was over soon with as few consequences as possible. He glanced towards Blaine, watching him before a question brewed in his mind.

“What did you mean you know what happens with stuff like this?”

Blaine took a deep breath, not looking to Sebastian. “I tried this once – before I met Kurt. I was miserable and I didn’t have a way out, except for … checking out.”

“I-I didn’t know that.”

“Only my family and Kurt know. And I think Kurt’s dad but that’s okay. I kind of had a feeling this was what had happened when you called.”

“Thank you for helping me, Blaine. I don’t deserve it after what I did to you and Kurt.”

“Of course you do,” Blaine looked to Sebastian as they pulled into the emergency lot. “Everyone deserves a second chance.”


End file.
